Facing the Fears
Fear is like a speed breaker in our path which makes us stumble and even fall hard. When I was 8years old, our family shifted to a new home. I liked my new home but there were certain bizzare things in it. The rooms of my home were usually filled with darkness as there were many homes and buildings around it which obstructed sunlight. Even I was small, I had a separate room for studies but I did not cherish that room ever. The room was filled with some odious energy which used to haunt me. Also, I felt uncomfortable in that room due to some moaning sounds, I used to hear at night. The darkness accompanied by bad vibrations and moaning sound was a terrible combo and sent chills down my spine. The room even affected my studies. Whenever I tried to study, my mind got accumulated with spooky thoughts. I did not fear ghosts but believed on bad souls. Almost one month had passed and I had scored poor marks in unit tests. So, I decided to end this fear and started exploring sources of my fears. After exploring for two days, I found that the source of moaning sounds was a little insect under my bed. To omit bad thoughts from my mind, I started playing soothing sounds in my background. I asked my father to install one more led light in my room to illuminate it. These measures helped me a lot to Fight Against my fear. From this incident, I learnt that fear can only terrify us when we will allow it.
Incapacitating the Fear of Failure
Every child, teenager and adult has experienced anxiety, fear or worry at some time in their lives. Everyone has their own phobias . I had mine too – fear of failing . Growing up in an Indian family obsessed with good grades can be a nightmare for many kids. Life allows everyone to experience challenges in their own way and when these challenges become impossible to complete, they become long term problems . Back in 2016 something similar happened to me. By this stage , I would have persistent nightmares of failing in examination which lingered and haunted me. I never really tasted failure until grade 6 when I failed in my unit exams. I disappointed everyone and above all , my own self. After this I started to devalue myself, I started setting the bar lower for myself. No-one was aware of what I was secretly going through . At the time , I never really discerned to the fact that I was in trouble. One day, I sat down and asked myself a question, “Do I really want to live this way?”. My inner self whispered, “no”. I instantly realized that fear of failure has messed with my mind. The only way to get out of this mundane cycle was to have faith in myself. I worked hard , very hard and as a result I was amongst the top rankers. This is one part of my life that I vividly recall. I am quite grateful that I learnt this lesson early in my life and came out of this loop in the early stages. A lot has changed since then. I feel way more stronger, determined and empowered . The fear of failing is still there but now it cannot overpower my self-confidence.
"In time we hate that which we often fear". It is a quote by Willian Shakespeare and it is quite relatable to my life. I also have fear and I really hate that thing. J am GLOBOPHOBIC. J am even afraid of telling about it to someone as it is an 'extreme fear of balloons'.I hate balloons. "What? Fear of balloons are u serious?" , "yes I am serious". And the laughing starts. Ugh! I am used to it now. I cannot attend birthday parties as you know birthdays are incomplete without balloons. I went to a birthday party thankfully there were no balloons but I think that thought was enough for me to gain courage and smile before the drop of bombshell as now I am standing still and speechless.I saw a room filled with balloons and the children calling me inside to play. That was too much fear for a twelve year old girl. My fear was growing with me.Now I am sixteen, and tomorrow is my dearest friend's birthday. I am excited and relieved as she is grown up now so no balloons in the party. But, that was a silly thought. As I entered the house, the balloons were welcoming me from the railing of the 1st floor. I was really shocked and terrified. I was climbing the stairs with thrill and anxiety. Ohhh! This will be really very embarrassing. The time I stepped on the last stair, my heart missed a beat. The floor was filled with balloons, I was still like a statue.I was facing my hardest time. There was only one thought in my mind that if I moved back, I will definitely die with embarrassment and if I moved forward then I will die with fear, What to do now? Suddenly, something popped in my mind and after that I enjoyed the party. After 2 years, when I thought about my friend's birthday party, a chill went down my spine.That day, I took the step forward with a thought that my fear is killing me more when I am thinking about it and not doing anything to overcome it and now I have to step on it. Troubles and struggles never end and the same was happening with me. The balloons were troubling me and I was struggling to ignore them. I always follow that thinking is the strongest power in the world.Our thoughts can make us stronger as well as weaker. Thinking, following positivity, gaining courage and moving forward is a key to success. With this key I am trying to open the lock of my fear. We all have to feel the fear and overcome it before it completely conquers our mind.
There is an infinite pool of fears an individual comes across in his life and I unequivocally believe that it is absolutely fine as fear is the quintessential human emotion experienced by every being of human species making it an utterly unavoidable feeling. And being one of the 7.8 billion Homo sapiens spread unevenly across the world I also possess certain fears but I often come across the fear of criticism as I am quite sensitive to it. I am that kind of personality who can become really defensive in the face of criticism and conflict, particularly when it comes to issues near to my heart or when someone challenges my principles or values. Citing an example of it, a few weeks back I was prattling with one of my friends over a phone call discussing about our future plans. He apprised me that he had tons of ideas and plans to build up his career but I said that I was still quite uncertain about the same. He, then in an opprobious manner criticised me for the uncertainties I had and stated that I am worth nothing. Therefore, I started acting very defensive about it because criticism, and the fear of it, robs me of my self-esteem, minimalizes my personal growth of sensability and sometimes even takes away self-reliance. And the worst affect of it not to forget is, the danger of creating a false image of oneself and not realising self-worth. But looking at the positive side of it, I have started taking criticism as a scope of improvement on one plane and thereby avoiding the issues unwanted on the other side which has now led me to a credible status in my own eyes. Also by analysing the sitches I encounter daily and deeply connecting to them I have realised that first of all I need to silence that self-critic that lives only inside my head, replace critical self talk with positive self affirmations. What I all need to work upon is to develop realistic self image and positive beliefs about the qualities within myself to heal from criticism's damaging psychological effects.
Facing the Fears
As we know, everyone is fear of various things like someone is fear of height, fear of deep water, fear of darkness, fear of loneliness etc. But, Today the most of the fear for the children /students is the fear of exams. They feel more stress and fear during the days of examination till result. They have nothing to do instead of reading books like a parrot. Some students also feel very depressed at that time. I want to share my experience on the fear of exams. It all was also happened with me when I was in class 10th. These were my board exams. I feel stress about that how could I prepared for it. I watched so many videos related to exams, called my friends for notes, rushed to market to purchase expensive books and guides but, no results. As soon as the date of exams was coming near, my fear and stress was increasing higher and higher. I was feeling helpless and loneliness. Then, I come to my father and he suggested me that if I really want to achieve something in life, then, I should leave the fear and stress and work hard from today. After that I gained the little confidence and from that day I work so hard and hit my target. So, I wish to tell you that fear is nothing. It is the state of mind that one create in his/her own mind. One should focus on the thing that he /she want to achieve in life, leave the fear, set the target, concentrate on it, work hard and it is sure that he /she will get the success. So please never leave confidence, focus on your target, work hard to achieve the goals an leave the fear alone.